Breaking the news of a planned pregnancy is quite easy for many people. It is evident in the elaborate baby showers, photoshoots, and many epistles posted on social media pages to communicate the news of the baby on the way.
However, this is not the case with unplanned pregnancies. You begin to imagine the reactions of your family, friends, or even spouse if he is not aware of the development.
In this article, tips on how to announce an unplanned pregnancy are detailed out to help you in such situations.
Factors To Consider When Choosing An Approach
When trying to relate any news, good or bad to people, there are certain things to consider before choosing the best approach to do so. In the case of an unplanned pregnancy here are some of the factors to consider before taking that step.
1. Your relationship with the people
Your relationship with the people involved, that is, your family, friends, or the father of your baby would determine the approach with which you would break the news of the pregnancy to them.
It is easier if you have a very healthy relationship going on with them than when the relationship is shaky or heading for the rocks.
If at the time you discovered that you’re pregnant you don’t have a good relationship with the father of your baby, it is better to hold on a bit, weigh your options properly and try to get the support of your family and friends before eventually telling him about it.
This way even if he doesn’t take the news well, you already have the support of others who would provide the moral support you would need to carry on.
2. Your thoughts about the pregnancy
What plans do you have for the pregnancy? Have you made up your mind about whether you want to have the baby or consider an abortion?
These are the type of questions to answer before choosing to proceed with telling others about it.
You may be thinking of having an abortion due to personal reasons. You may also be considering having the baby and giving him up for adoption. In such an instance it is wiser to hold on with the news.
Should you decide to tell other people, be sure to tell those who would understand your decisions and support you through the process. You wouldn’t want people to misunderstand your decisions or judge your choices wrongly.
How To Announce An Unplanned Pregnancy
Whether you are married, single, or divorced, announcing an unplanned pregnancy to the people around you is not a piece of cake.
You’re trying to process a lot at the time when you realize you’re pregnant and also dealing with the surge of emotions at the same time trying to imagine the reactions the news is likely to erupt.
This article is a guide on how to announce an unplanned pregnancy; hopefully, you can find the methods helpful.
1. Confirm the Pregnancy
If you have a good relationship with your partner, you may feel comfortable telling him that you think you may be carrying his child, before you confirm whether or not that’s true.
But, a lot of women choose to know for sure before having that conversation with their partner. You can take a homemade pregnancy test, but the best way to be sure is to get in touch with your doctor.
2. Calm your nerves
I understand that suddenly finding out that you’re pregnant may not be exactly exciting but you cannot make the best decisions if your emotions are all over the place. You have to calm down and make sure you work on your thoughts.
Practice breathing exercises for a few minutes to steady your pulse to be able to clear the rising fog in your head, this way you’d be able to process things better.
3. Practice your speech
You can make a draft of what you would like to say and how you would say it. Go over this speech a couple of times and while doing so, continue with your breathing exercises in between breaks.
You must not break the news immediately after discovering that you’re pregnant, you may not choose the most appropriate words to convey the news at that time.
So you can keep away your written speech and review it a few days more before deciding if what you wrote down bests describes how you would love to break the news.
4. Maintain you’re cool
You don’t want people having suspicions and asking questions about why you are sweating profusely under cool weather so you may as well try to act like nothing is up.
If at the time you discovered you were pregnant you were in the company of friends, you can excuse yourself to a quieter place and get a hold of yourself before returning to join them.
Thereafter, act as nothing happened and maintain the show until you have decided on what to do.
5. Be honest with your feelings
Decide on what your plans for the pregnancy are, after you have settled on it, communicate your feelings and plans openly, do not dwell too much on the reactions of others, it is your baby after all.
If you have decided to have an abortion, say it and say why you think that is the best option for you. If having the baby is your final decision, also state it alongside the reasons why you want to have your baby. As I said, the baby and body are yours.
6. Inform the father of your baby
At the end of everything, you would still have to get your father’s baby involved. As a married couple, you may want to do this earlier so that you both can process everything and make the decisions together on whether to have the baby, have an abortion, or consider adoption.
If you are a young kid, having this kind of conversation will be more complicated because your parents may end up taking full financial responsibility for the child if you are still in school or you do not have any substantial help from baby daddy.
Your parents’ views about the pregnancy may conflict with yours: perhaps you want to keep the baby while your parents may suggest you go for an abortion.
Or it could go the other way around. While everyone should be on the same page, that may not be possible. In the end, you’re the only one to make the decision.
Read Also: How To Hide A Pregnancy For 9 Months
Things You Should Not Do While Announcing Your Unplanned Pregnancy
The emotional rollercoaster of realizing that you’re pregnant and it was unplanned for can sometimes make you do or say things that may make you look less than you should.
You should be very careful on the things not to do in a bid to announce the news of your unplanned pregnancy to your family and friends.
1. Reveal that your pregnancy was unplanned
Yes, I understand that you’re probably feeling confused and even stupid but you don’t have to give people more reasons to raise judgy eyebrows at you by mentioning that your pregnancy was unplanned.
2. Do not apologize
You don’t have to feel sorry or apologize to anyone for getting pregnant; you didn’t try to harm anyone so why do you feel the need to apologize?
3. Make jokes about the pregnancy
You are probably feeling like a joke of a woman for losing track of your ovulation period but it is not necessary, these things happen all the time.
You got overwhelmed with life and forgot to track your fertility window, no need to feel like a clown over that and trying to make a joke about it just to feel better; you can feel better without first feeling stupid.
4. Narrate how you became pregnant
Trust me; this story is unnecessary at this point. Even if someone asks, you are not under any obligation to tell them how you became pregnant, the main thing is that you’re pregnant and have decided to keep it or not.
5. Entertain questions and answers about your relationship
Sometimes, when dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, there may be some people who may seem more concerned about your relationship status than the growing fetus.
Some questions like these may arise during such a period “do you think your baby daddy is going to make an honest woman out of you?” is he going to be around?
Whether you’re not married or not romantically involved with your baby daddy is one’s business. Or whether you have no plan on getting married, or you do, that’s no one’s business too.
Whatever drama that may be going on in your relationship is no one’s business, and no one is automatically entitled to know what is going on be it in your past, present, or future relationships, just because you’re pregnant.
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Whatever your plans are for the pregnancy, if you’ve made up your mind to let other people know about it, this article provides tips for you to follow if you’re wondering how to announce an unplanned pregnancy.
One thing to keep in mind while doing so is that no matter the reaction you get from other people, in the end, it is all about you, your baby, and your spouse.
You will be the one going through the process and when you decide to let others know is dependent on when you feel most comfortable doing so.