When we talk about adoption, it is the establishment of a relationship between a parent and a child with someone else’s child.
Sometimes adoption could be done before one starts having his or her biological child or children or after one has finished birthing.
Sometimes there is this mixed feeling and uncertainty about training biological and adopted children together as most adoptive parents feel they may hurt their children’s feelings.
There is nothing to worry about as we will give you practical steps that will guide your feet in the training steps of adoption before a biological child arrives.
If you are cool with adoption and you want to embark on adoption before having a biological child then this article is for you.
Adoption before Biological Child
Having an adopted child before your birth child isn’t a bad idea as there are many reasons one may want to become an adoptive parent.
Sometimes most people feel compelled to adopt a child because of difficulty in procreation.
Adoption over the years has been seen as a solution to cravings for a child by women without children.
Sometimes people adopt before having biological children, not because of difficulty in procreating but because they feel they are called to adopt a child early in life.
Whatever be the case there are some things you need to factor in when having a biological child after adoption.
Guides to Adoption before Biological Child
There are things you need to do when you have an adoptive child before having a biological child so that you don’t tear your home apart and cause chaos and anarchy in your home in the long run.
1. Consider your adopted child’s feelings
It is normal for a rivalry to exist among siblings but you must ensure that you help mitigate it and as well reduce it to the barest minimum.
There may be times when you feel connected more to your biological child than your adopted child, be careful not to let your feelings sway you.
Do not make your adopted child feel that he or she is not your biological child, endeavor to treat all of them with the same amount of love.
A child who is aware that he or she was adopted tends to live the rest of his or her with the feeling of rejection if he or she is starved of love.
Make your adopted child realize that blood isn’t just the only thing that makes one family, and try to live up to expectations.
Do not make your adopted child feel like a substitute in the face of your biological child.
Talk at length with your adopted child, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your adopted child, and make him or her under that you will never change or stop loving him or her because you have a birth child.
Remind him or her that he or she still holds a special place in your heart and that you won’t stop loving him or her.
Make the child realize that he or she will be actively involved in the life of your biological child that doubles as his or her younger sibling.
2. Think about your Children’s Current needs
Give love and attention to the one who requires it more. If it is your adopted child that needs it more, fine give it to him or her. If it is your biological child go ahead too.
But ensure not to be partial in showing the love and care, make sure that the same love and care your biological child receives is the same as the one your adopted child receives.
Needs aren’t just materialistic, it could be medical needs, psychological instability, developmental needs, or even emotional needs.
Remember that you owe your adopted child the duty of constant reminder that adoption is beautiful and does not make them fewer members of your family.
Speak words of reassurance to him or her. Remind him or her that you still love him or her and that nothing would change that.
Let your adopted child be aware that he or she may not receive the same measure of attention he or she has received in the past, as your attention will be divided between your kids but that doesn’t mean you love him or her less.
Get your adopted child involved in the life of your biological child so that they can bond as siblings.
3. Prepare your adopted child for a new sibling
Do not leave your adopted child out of your preparatory plan for a new child, and on that note, you must prepare your adopted child for the advent of a new member of the family.
Listen to his or her fears, start up the conversation, and allow your adopted child to take the lead.
Allow your adopted child to pour his or her fears to you and reassure him or her that his or her fears are not unfounded but that you would be there for him or her.
Get your adopted child actively involved in the preparation for the arrival of his or her younger sibling.
4. Avoid favoritism
If you want love to be an integral part of your home and if you want your children united then you must avoid favoritism.
No child should be given preferential treatment, chores should be divided fairly and when any of your children whether adopted or biological does anything that deserves praise or discipline, do not hesitate to do so.
If you notice preferential treatment from any member of your family on your children, do not let it slide as such an act can sow the seed of discord in your children.
Share your observations with them, educate them about adoption and ensure that all your kids get equal treatment from family and friends.
5. When in doubt consult an expert
Do not feel shy or hesitate to seek professional help when you do not have issues beyond your control in your family.
Be observant with your children and know when there is a shift or change in any of their personalities or behavior. If there is difficulty in adjusting to your family dynamic then seek help if you can’t handle it.
Related Post: 7 Financial Benefits of Adopting a Child
Other FAQ’s
Are adopted Kids troubled?
Research has shown that 12-14 percent of adopted kids (between the ages of 8 and 18) in the US are diagnosed with a mental health disorder each year, and adopted kids are almost twice as likely as kids brought up with their biological parents to suffer from mental issues like anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.
What age is best to adopt a child?
The majority of kids in need of adoption homes are usually at the age between 9 and 20 years. Even though it’s quite difficult for these older kids to get adopted, a lot of them are still waiting to find their forever families.
Do I get to pick the child to adopt?
No, it is usually up to a potential birth mother to choose the adoptive family that’s best for her baby. While you’re limited to such an option, you are still able to choose many of the characteristics you are comfortable with for your future child.
Conclusion
I am sure that the question you have on adoption before biological child has been answered and that the practical guides given to you will be of help.
Remember that as you make your bed so you will lie on it, so endeavor to set the tone while carrying all your kids along.
Do not cause discrimination among your children and help them bond as family and siblings.
Make love the watchword and ensure that your kids love each other and have each other’s back.