How to Keep a Relationship Strong After Having A Baby (11 Helpful Tips)

Newborn arrival can be exciting and challenging at the same time. It can be a difficult time for your relationship especially when you neglect those key things that’ll make your relationship stronger after the baby’s arrival.

Relationship as a couple is bound to be transformed and may be problematic because attention shifts from your partner to your baby.

As parents you must not let this transition ruin your relationship and to achieve this, you both need to find little time and energy to focus on each other and reinvigorate your love for each other.

In this article, we discuss the question of how to keep a relationship strong after having a baby and other relationship-related questions. Read On…

How Does A Relationship Change After A Baby?

It is normal to have a crack in your relationship as a couple when a newborn arrives. Lots of adjustments need to be made for the sake of the baby.

You may not be happy with the way the whole scenario plays out but sure you have no choice because your baby is dependent on you for everything.

This is where striking a balance comes in. You need to strike a balance so that your relationship with your baby doesn’t suffer as well as your relationship as a couple. You have got to know that having a baby doesn’t mean that you both stop being romantic.

But sure there have to be adjustments because you can’t have those adventurous sex you usually enjoy before the baby’s arrival without being interrupted by his or her cry, seeking your attention.

This can be quite frustrating and stressful at the same time, especially if you and your partner have planned how romantic the night would be.  It is very frustrating but you can manage it if you want to, by striking a balance.

What Are The Marital Issues You Can Have After Having A Baby?

couple issues

The arrival of your baby makes your family complete and gives you that feeling of being fulfilled but sure remember that it has its challenges which you must brace yourself up to.

Having a new baby means that you have signed up for sleepless night feeds, changing the diapers, or simply comforting them and putting them back to sleep.

And also you may not be free to have that hot sex you crave in the middle of the night! Since your baby may disrupt your plans and escapades with demand for attention.

Sometimes you might be too exhausted to even try new things in the bed with your partner and the romantic session and love-making become crap.

These are some of the challenges that come with parenting because the baby is depending totally on both parents.

On the part of the mother, the challenges are way beyond the physical she has additional problems caused by the rush of hormones which may result in stress, anxiety, emotional meltdowns, or even pregnancy depression.

All these may have a toll on your relationship and if you don’t know how to keep your relationship strong after having a baby, they may ruin your relationship with your partner.

Read Also: How To Prevent Diaper Blowouts

Does Having a Baby Ruin Your Relationship with your Partner?

There’s a saying that goes in physics which says action and reaction are equal and opposite. In life, you get what you asked for, in essence, what you worked for.

If you do not balance your relationship well after having a baby, it may ruin your relationship and if you do, there is nothing to be worried about.

Having a baby doesn’t necessarily ruin relationships between partners but it is the mishandling of the situations that ruins the relationship.

There is no manuscript for effective parenting, every relationship is unique, you can only be given tips that can serve as a guide but the bulk of the work needs to be done by you and your partner.

Research has shown that romance is usually tossed in the bin after childbirth by most couples, and as a result, they have a hard time striking a balance between their love life, work-life, and parenthood.

How to Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having A Baby


There are lots of things that you can do to rekindle the love between you and your spouse after childbirth and they include

1. Go Out On a Date

Now you and you’re are taking turns working, caring, doing house chores, feeding, and changing diapers, you often compromise on the time spent with one another.

You can plan a date and stick to it. You can have your baby’s granny come over and attend to your baby while you both go out to be wrapped in your world and by so doing reinvigorate your love for each other.

2. Always See the Funny Side

After I had my first baby, things were a bit awkward for me and my partner but as time goes by we found that the best way to keep our relationship strong is to try and find humor when the going does get tough.

So each time our child wakes up in the middle of the night or displays a tantrum in public, we always look at each other and say ‘she’s your daughter!’ suddenly we will get cracked up.

Always remember to take it slow and be kind to each other. Sharing a laugh with your partner about this kind of thing will help keep your relationship strong.

3. Shower Together

The love and intimacy between you and your spouse can blossom together when you both shower together.

The sight of your partner’s naked body re-energizes your chemistry and before you know it, the atmosphere becomes sexually charged, and chances of making out become high.

A long-lasting and relaxing time with your partner in the bathroom relieves stress like no other thing.

And sharing the shower with your partner may have been one of the hottest things you both did as a couple before your baby arrived, so there’s no reason this should change now there is a new addition.

4. Add Kissing To Your Romance Recipe

Try kissing always and don’t have a kissing session in less than 15seconds. When you are wrapped up around each other with your lips locked together, damn!

That feeling is unimaginable because you tend to forget about the stress of parenting and this has the effect of making you desire your partner’s company.

5. Keep To Your Sex Schedule

Another helpful tip on how to keep a relationship strong after having a baby is by scheduling for sex and keeping to it. You must never allow your sex life to dwindle with the coming of a baby if not the effect may be chaotic.

6. Get Involved in Your Partner’s Life

You can try getting involved in your partner’s life. It mustn’t always have to be about the baby. You should show your partner that you care and that you are interested in what’s going on in his life and this will make him more comfortable and eager to come home to spend time with you because you genuinely care.

7. Cook Together

Spending time together in the kitchen can be exceptionally romantic. When you and your partner are bustling around the kitchen, let your hand graze his butt and rediscover the chemistry.

If you are yet to have your dinner, set aside that effort and try and reconnect with your partner through food. Turn on some smooth music, cook your dinner and take a seat and enjoy the meal.

8. Spoil Each other

Naturally, when couples begin to have children, they usually spoil their children, adore them, shower them with love and affection and forget about each other.

One other important thing to do for you to keep your relationship strong after having a baby is to spoiling each other with treats and gifts; show that with affection and fondness to your partner. Little things like this would remind you why you fell in love with each other.

9. Choose A Moment and Connect With Your Partner

When a newborn arrives, it is normal to forget about what is happening in your partner’s life when they are outside, and you don’t seem to have time to talk about your partner about his day.

All attention and discussion will circle the new baby. In times like this, you need to make out time to discuss different things that are happening around you at the moment.

Choose a moment and have that conversation with your partner, not just the crucial things but discuss the normal things like how you are feeling and how was work at the office today, as this will strengthen your relationship.

10. Bring the Baby into the Picture

Being romantic doesn’t mean that you need to figure a smart way to get away from your child.

There are other ways by which you can be romantic as a family.

One of those ways is to create a unique outdoor activity such as walking by the side of a river at sunset as your child sits calmly in his/her stroller. This trick can rekindle old romantic memories which in turn help strengthen your bond.

11. Try Professional Counseling

If you’ve tried everything we’ve mentioned above and still wondering how to keep a relationship strong after having a baby?

If you’re worried that your relationship with your partner after your baby is on and off despite all your efforts, perhaps it is time to seek professional help.

Consulting a qualified therapist or a counselor would help you navigate through your challenges in the best way possible and equip you with skills to deal with such issues even in the future.

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Wind Up

Childbirth of course is one of the most precious blessings any couple can get from God. No matter the challenges, life with a newborn can be really exciting.

The trick is to build a balance between parenting and your marriage. Try not to get too overwhelmed and forget your identity or precious relationships with your partner.

Of course, during this period there will be ups and down’s but that is when you both need to stand strong as a couple.

Be kind and patient to your spouse and also to yourself too. Always learn to forgive each other, and make every effort to restore your love and affection with patience. Good luck!