In many traditions, sons are the pride of their fathers. Going to the world at large, sons are of great value and importance to their fathers.
They maintain their family name and heritage and are responsible for carrying on their family bloodline.
But for some reason, fathers tend to hate their sons, which has given rise to the question, “why do fathers hate their sons” in society as this demands an urgent answer.
Now let’s look at some of the reasons fathers hate their sons.
Why Do Fathers Hate Their Sons?
It is necessary to understand that some reasons why fathers hate their sons are attached to some factors, including environmental, psychological, and other factors.
1. Self Expectations
One of the things fathers do that pushes their sons away is high expectations.
Some fathers who didn’t attain some of their life goals set the same goals or objectives for their sons that they did not reach themselves.
Let’s take, for example, a son who has a passion for music being forced by his father to be a medical doctor because he could not do so due to his reckless lifestyle when he was a youth.
With such goals imposed on the son, there are high chances of the son rebelling against his father’s wishes or dreams, which will make the father hate him for going against the plans he had for him already.
2. Unwanted Child
Some fathers involved themselves in many sexual adventures during their teenage years, leading to unwanted pregnancies.
Due to their frustration at their mistakes, they view the child as the consequence of their mistakes, abuse, and hate the child.
3. Irresponsibility of the Sons
The joy of every father is to have a son who is responsible and is of good behavior.
It can be heartbreaking when a father watches his son trail in the path of waywardness and destruction.
A father may feel bitter towards their son, especially if the son is regarded as carrying the family’s good reputation. As such, he may dislike the son who chose the path of destruction, especially after so much caution.
This can be one of the reasons why fathers hate their sons.
4. Psychological, emotional, and mental issues from a traumatic childhood
Most fathers don’t hate their sons (I am a father myself, and I love my son a lot).
Still, some parents aren’t emotionally and mentally capable of being good parents for various reasons. Still, the most common is that they have been abused and have no idea about parenting.
My friend Frank, a young dad, too shared his childhood story growing up with his dad with me.
As he described his relationship with his father, he described it as toxic, abusive, womanizing, alcoholic, and not caring about his children.
During his childhood, he suffered all kinds of abuse from his dad, and the experience left a huge scar that brings back painful flashbacks at times.
He later discovered everything about his biological father. Also, He found out that his father, also a victim of abuse by his father and stepmother (his mother died when he was six), grew up in a tough situation during both the depression and World War III.
5. Financial Pressures
Newborn arrival comes with huge responsibilities, and as a father, this is when your sense of responsibility and provider kicks in.
Some men feel like they want to run away and almost feel like they are in a state of panic. To make matters worse, perhaps the wife has stopped working or drastically reduced her hours.
Despite your desire to have her home with your new baby, her lack of financial support adds to your burden.
Ironically, just as the father should be diverting some of his attention to his newborn, he is forced to work longer hours to provide for his family when he should be devoting more time to his newborn.
In addition, as your children age and need you financially, you are entering your thirties and forties, your professional prime, when you think you should be making six figures to attain a certain level of status.
These factors can add massive pressure to the dad and could affect the dad and son relationship.
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Solution To These Reasons
Now we will look at the ways to solve the reasons mentioned above to ensure a good relationship between fathers and sons and to help answer the question, “Why do fathers hate their sons?”
1. Fathers should allow their sons to pursue their dreams and achieve their goals.
They should not impose the goals they failed to achieve on their sons because everyone has a different destiny and wants different things, which will boost the relationship between the two parties.
2. Fathers should try and forget the mistakes they made in the past and love their sons with their whole hearts.
They should love those beautiful souls given to them and find solace in them because they were never the reason they made those mistakes.
3. Sons should obey their fathers and live a responsible life of emulation to make their fathers proud.
In conclusion, sons should be of good behavior, love, and care for their father to maintain the good reputation of the family given to them.
Fathers should love their sons, cherish and be patient with their sons. Teach your son the right way, allow them to make their own decision, set their own goals, and achieve their dreams.
As dads, we need to be a source of encouragement, not one of pressure, and by doing so, we will all stop this rampaging question in our society: “why do fathers hate their sons.”